Living with TB 6: The Final Chapter

Wednesday March 24, 2010. A day to celebrate.

My X-Ray and blood test shown I am totally clear of TB!

From taking 5 different types of medicine with a total of 12 pills daily, I now will be taking 3 types twice a week. The antibiotic that caused my gout attack is no longer needed.

Even though I will be taking 3 types of medicine, the total now is 13 pills!

This is absolutely fine as I am clean!!!

Gout will be a thing of the past soon. I look forward to being able to run and play tennis in the very near future!

I might even take up a new routine, yoga!

I have put on weight, I am back to my normal weight. Which is actually a bit on the heavy side. Have to work on this part so I can be healthy whilst loosing weight!

I lost about 8kg in less than 2 weeks, from approximately 80kg to 72kg. I remember looking at myself and said to myself, "Cool, my stomach is totally flat! Just like when I was at my fittest many, many years ago!".

Unfortunately, I also lost the little bit of muscle mass I have!

My waist went down from 33" to 30". Now it's back to 33".

I would be more than happy if I could get it down to 32"!

Now that I am at 79kg, I better start building back the muscle mass I lost just so I don't resemble a frog:

Big head, no neck, round stomach and skinny legs!

The future is fill with opportunities, hopes and dreams!

I thank God for allowing me to see things differently and how precious life is.

Life is great!

Living with TB 5: A Revelation

My illness has forced me to take the much needed rest for both my body and soul.

For a start, I have learnt to take things one step at a time.

I have also been given the time needed to understand myself a little better.

More importantly, to accept the fact that I can only do my best and the rest will take its course.

By admitting to myself I can't control everything in life and plan everything to the exact decimal point is not a sign of weakness, but merely accepting the truth!

I believe there is a God. At the same time, I respect all religions.

I have come to understand conversation with God is not a one way street.

It is not about what I want out of life.

But more so, how to search from my inner self for true goals and objectives in life and seek guidance to take the path to achieve true self fulfillment and enlightenment.

This is truly a life changing experience for me.

I am learning to submit myself and have faith in God.

This post is not about a specific God or religion. It is about having faith and believe in there is greater power at work to help us achieve our goals in life.

I want to be able to relate to people, use what I know to enrich other people's life.

I believe in growing old gracefully and I would like to play a part in helping people to reach that goal in ways that I have come to understand and good at.

I would very much like to have a balanced life. A life that I can give equally to myself, my family and loved ones.

I want to be healthy again. Triumphed over gout and diabetes.

I want to be able to lead an active lifestyle.

I want to spend quality time both in Penang and Kuala Lumpur.

Most important of all, I want to have fun doing it just so success in life is an unforgettable experience!

I look forward to sharing the ride of my life here with you.

Thank you.

Living with TB 4: The Side Effects

Undergoing TB treatment isn't as straight forward as it seemed to be.

There are side effects that I have to uncover myself the hard way...

The mild one:

Don't take diabetes medication same time as antiTB! If not, the result is very bad gastric the entire day.

The more serious one:

One of the antibiotics I am taking actually increases uric acid in my blood. For normal people, it may be fine, for someone with gout like me? Extreme gout attack!

One month into the antiTB medication, I suddenly have very bad gout attack!

I have been controlling my diet and managing my gout well and to have such a bad attack puzzled me.

When I couldn't figure out what triggered the attack, I googled "TB medicine". That's when I found out about the uric acid issue.

I also found out that I couldn't stop or change the TB medication half way despite of my gout. So the next best thing is to bite the bullet and go through with it!

So other than the 12 pills I have been taking daily, I started taking pain killer and another pill to flush out the excess uric acid, 3 times a day.

Oh, and not forgetting 2 diabetes pills, twice a day.

A lot of candies to take every day indeed. Bitter candies :o

Well, looking at it on the bright side, I am very near the finishing line! 3 more days to go!

All goes as planned, I should be on TB medication once a week after that. Meaning gout should not be an issue any more. Look forward to that.

Looking back, it's not easy living with TB, especially the first 2 weeks.

Being locked up in the house was something I have to go through as I wouldn't want to pass it on to others.

The following 2 weeks were ok as I got to get out and do my usual things like shopping, movies, etc albeit with a mask.

When gout came, it was bad. Real bad.

I was in constant pain for at least the first week. Life gotten a little unbearable with lacked of sleep, constantly fighting the pain and frustration as I have to find out about the gout issue from the internet and not the hospital.

When I finally have to accept the fact that this is something I have to go through, instead of in constant foul mood and negative state of mind, I started counting the days when I would stop TB medication on a daily basis. This kept me going.

The fact that at that point in time, I got to know someone on line with encouraging words and opening up my mind tremendously on a daily basis did play a big part in changing my mindset.

Melissa of Vancouver, if you are reading this, thanks for everything. Can't wait to meet you in person :)

During these times, when the pain was bearable, I would go out in wheelchair with my wife Pam or with cousin Joo Lee's family.

At times, I would go out on my own in a wheelchair. Pretty cool experience!

Do you know that there is even a cabin wheelchair specially designed to fit in the aircraft cabin?

I got the opportunity to sit in one going back to Penang 2 weeks ago!

The last 2 weeks, the swelling and pain became more and more bearable (it won't go away completely due to the TB medication, but at least it is manageable) and I got to go out in crutches instead!

Walking in crutches was again, another totally new experience!

It's amazing I have to be in wheelchair and crutches to fully comprehend what true conveniences are.

I hope I will continue to remember this experience and what I have gone through just so I will not take things for granted.

I know my family won't be reading this, so here goes:

The truth is, despite the fact that they don't want to learn about the net and other modern gadgets, both my mum and aunt have shown me the true value of unconditional and traditional love they know how by ensuring I constantly have food, snacks and some form or others of traditional supplement available to me.

I have forgotten about the fact that I am their son-nephew and they do love me in their own way.

May not be the way I want, getting savvy with gadgets and be able to communicate with me at my level. But they do care and love me in their own way.

I will continue to have major issues with them when they don't listen, can't get things right, having difficulties in communicating, etc.

But from now, I am going to remember about how their love and care had brought me up to be a decent human being, more than the reasons they pissed me off and why they can't change.

Even if they don't change, I'll learn to accept the way they are. My duty as a son is to look after them and make sure they have as good a life (if not even better life) as I can provide them with.

Hanging out with Aunty Mary and niece Lee Mun.

With cousin Joo Lee who has played an important part of

looking after me and ensuring I have food to eat

(well, most of the time)!

I would like to think this has been a life changing experience and

I thank God that this is only a temporary setback.

To be continued...

Living with TB 3: The Recovering Process

3 days into antiTB medicine, only have blood when I spit after cough.

I was responding positively to the medication!

Well, I better. Swallowing 12 pills every morning to this day isn't something I look forward to (stopped taking the 2 huge pink ones a day after I started antiTB medication)!

I was told by the doctor I could leave the hospital, but need to stay "house arrested" for 2 weeks.

Hey, this was great news! I immediately called my mum and aunt and got them to go on speaker phone just so I got to freak them out! Oh yeah, I freaked them BIG time alright!

(When I went back home for Chinese New Year, I could even tell them how the Hong Hong TV series they watched did not portray a TB patient accurately! Hey, I know, I been through it).

Hee hee...

5 days into it, only small speckles of dry blood found in my sputum when I spit.

10 days into it, no more blood. YES!!!

Had to clean my face from all the blood after I was admitted, just so cousin Joo Lee could take this picture to send to my wife who was in Singapore at that time (she called her when I was being poked and hooked up to the machines).

Receiving a phone call at about 6am and being told your family or loved one has been admitted to emergency ward would freak any normal human being out (well, at least she didn't tell her about the blood)!

Had to take this pic to assure her I was ok (despite being in emergency ward!) and she should only come back as planned.

What I had to go through daily:

2 blood tests, 4 blood sugar tests, 4 insulin injections, 2 injections straight into the needle at the back of my hand, plus urine and kahak (sputum) samples.

Thought I would get used to seeing blood and needles after this.

Definitely NOT!!!

Still freak out the few times I needed to give blood samples for testing after I was discharged.

The ones that gave me pain and pleasure!

Overall, It was a good experience!

To be continued...

Living with TB 2: At the Hospital

Reached the hospital emergency ward with no more bout of throwing up blood.

The team of medical staff was busy hooking me up to all sorts of equipment and inserting IV and more needles within minutes.

For someone that can't stand the sight of blood and needles, I was doing rather well. At least I did not faint!

My main concern was to stop the bleeding.

All I recalled was I spit (not threw up!) a fair bit of blood from both my mouth and nose quite a few times between being hooked up to machines, poked and pushed to the X-Ray room and back.

The next few hours was the wait to get the test results.

"Pneumonia, virus infection of the lungs, TB (tuberculosis), cancer" I was told by the doctor in-charged of the possible causes.

Pneumonia or virus infection is fine. I remembered saying that to myself as it is not contagious.

Not TB, as I wouldn't want to pass this on to my family members and loved ones.

I have been spending a lot of time both in Penang with my mum, aunt and 2 dogs, visited my in-laws and played with the nieces. As well as Kuala Lumpur with my wife, cousin Joo Lee, her mother and niece. I know TB is curable. But it takes time.

At the same time, I hope it wasn't cancer as I wasn't prepared to deal with that.

I called my mum, told her I went to hospital for X-Ray and was told to be admitted as the hospital needed a few days to make certain what's the cause of my prolonged cough (I wouldn't want to tell her the whole truth as I wouldn't want her to rush down to KL or stressed out in PG. The plan is once I am on the way to recovery, I would dramatize the whole incident! Hee hee.).

2 days later, I was officially diagnosed with TB.

I freaked out! Not so much because I have become a TB patient, but the possibilities that people I have come in contact with the last few weeks/months may have gotten it!

I couldn't forgive myself should this happened. Honestly, I wouldn't be able to deal with this should it be the case!

A week later, feedback was that my family and loved ones tested negative!

To be continued...

Living with TB 1: The Morning it Happened

I honestly have no clue when it started and how long I was having it.

All I know was I had cough on and off for about 6 months.

Thought it was due to all the late nights and extreme lack of sleep, plus the weather change in Hong Kong.

In October last year, I decided to focus a little more on my health and came back to Malaysia for a break.

I spent most of my time in Kuala Lumpur.

Once a month, I would go to Penang for meetings, seeing my family and checking on my 2 dogs that I moved up to Penang some time in June-July; for my aunt to help look after due to my frequent overseas trips.

I will always remember what happened that early morning in January...

Woke up at around 3am felt like throwing up, I threw up alright. Blood!

Fresh blood!

Freaked out, I looked at myself in the mirror.

I looked fine, no pain, no injuries, yet in front of me in the sink was blood, a lot of blood!

Second bout came and I tried to stop it from coming out by shutting my mouth. It came out through my nose, I opened my mouth to catch a breath, it continued to come out from both my nose and mouth!

All this while, I was looking at myself in the mirror with the blood oozing out from my nose and mouth.

All I could think of at that time was, "God, I don't want to die, I can't die, I need to take care of my family!"

I said to myself I need to go hospital.

I walked out from the bathroom, packed some clothes, brought a roll of paper towel and a huge plastic bag with me.

Called my cousin.

Good, she answered within 3 rings.

Asked her to come immediately and send me to hospital.

Then rushed back to bathroom for another blood oozing session from nose and mouth.

After that, I cleaned the bathroom (to the best of my capability) and went downstairs waiting for cousin Joo Lee.

To be continued...

Why Uncle Botak?

This little boy, "baby" is the reason!

He is the little one my mum has been taking care of since he was born about 4 years back.

Up until 6 months ago, I either shaved my head bald or use razor #1 on my head.

Since the time he learned to talk, he has been calling me uncle Botak!

As I don't get to see him often and miss his "cheeckiness", thought I use uncle Botak just so I don't miss him too much!

From clean shaved to cropped, short, long, flowing hair, he saw them all the last 6 months!

But he seemed to have trouble calling me uncle Botak as my hair grew longer.

Just before Chinese New Year last month, I went back to razor #1!

Saw him after I shaved my hair.

First thing he said to me, "Uncle Botak, I like you better with hair!"

Hee hee.