How Do You Want to be Treated

Now that I am feeling better more than half the time, my mind started to do more thinking, instead of blocking the pain!

So I get to think a little more about things...

Growing up, I was introduced to harsh discipline, unlike most kids my time and definitely very different from kids these days.

I was used to words like stupid, no brain, because I said so and a good beating when I refused to accept "I told you so" as an answer.

So I worked hard, I strived even harder to ensure I knew better than the rest on things I liked and did so no one could ever label me. Ever!

Talk about negative encouragements!

I know for a fact if I allowed this to happen to my own kids, the vicious cycle will continue to the next generation. This just isn't right and I want it to stop at me.

I am thankful I discovered this now as I haven't started family of my own just yet.

I wouldn't want to label my kids stupid, no brain, etc when they grow up, or for them to call me that when I grow old.

At the same time, I need to find a way to get through to them at an early age that listening skill, power of observation and being able to think logically and make sound decisions are all life's skills needed to be a complete human being.

There is no Parenting 101. But I know I have people that I can ask for help and guidance.

For a start, I have Dr & Mrs Kok.

For them to have 4 great kids, they must have done something very right!

I know for a fact that Mrs Kok has parents that brought her 2 brothers and her up well too. We have been neighbours before I was even born!

So I am indeed very blessed to have reconnected with them just recently!

Dr & Mrs Kok

Mrs Kok's (Agatha) dad

and mum

P.S.

Yo Dr Kok, when I grow up I wanna be just like you :D

Still Finding My Ways

Not too long ago, I thought life was about fulfilling my childhood dreams.

I bought myself the coupe, the hatchback and the roadsters my father promised to get me when I got my driving license.

He passed away before I reached driving age.

Anyway, I got them all later on!

Then I realized life is more than material things.

I needed to refocus.

I started my own business, from providing small scale brand consultation work to working with agencies and setting up partnerships to pitch for major branding projects.

Life became work.

Work was life.

Eventually, I started to search for more meaningful things in life.

Hence, earlier this year, I started to focus on:

Health in my body,
Wealth in my life,
Peace in my heart,
Joy in my home.

Just today, I finally realized I need to accept one thing, the one thing that most probably will give me joy in my home and peace in my heart:

Live for myself. Live my life.

Live a life I intend to live.

I need to learn to let go.

Just need to figure out how much is enough of a let go.

Funny this thing called life.

I thought I was selfish when it used to be all about me and my dreams.

I've just come a full circle.

It's just that I haven't figured out what's the difference between then and now.

Not just yet...







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You're Not The Only One!

Do you measure success by comparing against your friends?

Bigger cars, better house, fancier job title, nicer expense account, traveled to more cities and countries than you can ever remember?

Or do you think you are great just because you are special?

When you are unwell, ill, down and out in life, do you think you are the worst?

Do you expect the GOD you believe in to come to you just because you needed HIM?

I am guilty in some (perhaps most of the above)!

So what if I could afford to own many sports cars? Lead a high flying life? Spend money like there's no tomorrow? Own every gadgets I ever like?

When my soul is empty, material things are a temporary measures.

What is so special about my illness? The pain I endured and the side effects I am still going through every single day?

What's the big deal that I still can't play the tennis I enjoy?

I should be grateful I am given a second chance to re-look at my life, a chance to re-examine the true importance of my existence.

I should be thankful every single morning I can still wake up, thus giving me the opportunities to at least attempt to right the wrongs!

You are an inspiration, Agatha.

I am grateful we managed to re-connect and I appreciate you sharing your life experience with me.

You are still the Hwoi Ying I know of ever since I could remember!

How would you cope...

...if you are no longer able to do something you enjoy?

I have to confront this question when I went for my tennis earlier this morning.

I love the game ever since my high school friend introduced it to me 28 years ago.

Pain in my shoulder, elbow and both wrists stop me from hitting out.

Pain on my right knee prohibits me from chasing after the balls and bend low enough to hit my backhand properly.

Both my ankles are too weak to make the sudden stops and turns.

Was it fun?

Well, the sweating was. I have not sweat this much for a long time! Love it. Made me feel alive!

But no, it wasn't fun at all having to come to terms with the fact that I am still not healthy and fit enough to get back to the game I enjoy most.

Looks like in the short term at least, I need to sort out my health before I can even get back to shape for tennis.

I need to figure this out...

Hari Raya 2010: Part One

This is a very meaningful Raya to me as I learned something important of life, about life and with life.

Approximately a week prior to Raya, I asked my wife whether we will be visiting her childhood friend Yoni.

She told me Yoni has neither picked up nor returned her calls. I asked her what's next, she told me we would gate crash worst case!

I like Yoni and her family. I met them once during Raya last year. Gate crash Hari Raya Open House sounded like a cool thing to do!

2 days prior to visiting Yoni, I walked into our bedroom seeing my wife crying in vain! She blurted out "My friend's mother just passed away!"

She was referring to Yoni's mother.

Not my childhood friend, not my best friend, just the word "friend".

I knew Yoni and Pam are close and she used to spend her childhood in East Coast with Yoni's family.

But I have no idea the sort of closeness she has with Yoni's family. The friendship they have over the years is something very special.

It's so special that it doesn't need any particular word/phrase to define. Just a simple word: Friend!

We visited Yoni on the second day of Raya.

I had meaningful conversation with Yoni's father, her brother and Yoni.

That day, I got to know the compassionate side of my wife and her childhood better.

I promised myself I will make an effort to get to know Yoni and her father better and I will not wait til next Raya to visit them.

Here's to you aunty, may you rest in peace and bless your family and loved ones; Let them think of you with fond memories and not sadness.

Wouldn't It Be Nice...

... to receive good news on the project I have been working on soon?

... to start the quest in enabling people to change life for the better?

... to have the contract signed and sealed as a birthday present to myself?

Now, that would truly be a meaningful 2010!

Health in my Body

Peace in my Heart

Wealth in my Life

Joy in my Home

Give Hope. Change Life.

Faith

I have done my utter best

The rest is beyond me

I trust my business associate

In giving better than the rest

Now I wait with faith in me

That I could change my life

and make a difference in other's too