What If...

I have mentioned about how important health is in my previous posts.

Even though health is what's important to me, but I guess deep down I am still unsure of the importance despite the fact I said it is.

I believe I have just found the true importance of health moments ago.

I've been having a very bad gout attack the last 3 days.

This time, I had it on my right knee. The one I heavily bruised and hospitalized for 21 days almost 12 years ago.

This time the attack is bad. My knee swells up like a small melon.

I freaked out when I first saw it as the swelling is unusual (reminded me of the incident 12 years ago) except this time no injury!

But other then the initial shock, I have no time to be worried as the throbbing pain was so bad I either couldn't sleep or I woke up due to the excrutiating pain.

Every waking moment was a struggle trying not to think about the pain!

It got better late this morning, after several doses of colchicine, diclofenac, topical and oral esterified fatty acid (EFA) since last night.

I still couldn't straighten my leg but the pain is bearable. I can't walk normal as one leg is now shorter than the other.

As I was limping in pain out of the bedroom, I could see things clearly!

I started asking myself these questions:

What if the pain is gone but I no longer be able to walk normal as my leg couldn't straighten?

What if I continue to have gout attack as bad as this and I can't walk half the time?

These lead me to the brutal truth that:

I will no longer be able to walk hand in hand with my wife.

I will not be able to lead an active life.

I will not be able to drive the sportscars I plan to get myself over the next few years.

I will not be able to drive!

I will not be able to carry out daily chores and activities!

I am thankful I get to finally see things clearly!

I want my health back and I will pray for a healthy body before other things.

I thank God for showing me the true meaning of a healthy life.

Normal left knee

Swollen right knee

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