What If...

I have mentioned about how important health is in my previous posts.

Even though health is what's important to me, but I guess deep down I am still unsure of the importance despite the fact I said it is.

I believe I have just found the true importance of health moments ago.

I've been having a very bad gout attack the last 3 days.

This time, I had it on my right knee. The one I heavily bruised and hospitalized for 21 days almost 12 years ago.

This time the attack is bad. My knee swells up like a small melon.

I freaked out when I first saw it as the swelling is unusual (reminded me of the incident 12 years ago) except this time no injury!

But other then the initial shock, I have no time to be worried as the throbbing pain was so bad I either couldn't sleep or I woke up due to the excrutiating pain.

Every waking moment was a struggle trying not to think about the pain!

It got better late this morning, after several doses of colchicine, diclofenac, topical and oral esterified fatty acid (EFA) since last night.

I still couldn't straighten my leg but the pain is bearable. I can't walk normal as one leg is now shorter than the other.

As I was limping in pain out of the bedroom, I could see things clearly!

I started asking myself these questions:

What if the pain is gone but I no longer be able to walk normal as my leg couldn't straighten?

What if I continue to have gout attack as bad as this and I can't walk half the time?

These lead me to the brutal truth that:

I will no longer be able to walk hand in hand with my wife.

I will not be able to lead an active life.

I will not be able to drive the sportscars I plan to get myself over the next few years.

I will not be able to drive!

I will not be able to carry out daily chores and activities!

I am thankful I get to finally see things clearly!

I want my health back and I will pray for a healthy body before other things.

I thank God for showing me the true meaning of a healthy life.

Normal left knee

Swollen right knee

- Posted using BlogPress via my iPhone 3G S

Health

Just finished movie not too long ago.

2 things I noticed:

1. I could get up from the seat with minimal discomfort from my knees, no stiffness on my lower legs and without pain at the bottom of my feet.

2. I could walk down the stairs with no pain on my ankles and bottom of feet, despite some stiffness on my knees.

It's an amazing feeling!

I have been in constant discomfort, stiffness and pain for months. This came as a pleasant surprise.

It's a relief!

It's a great feeling to know that my health is improving even though it's not as swift and direct as I have originally anticipated.

Having a pain-free life is part of leading a wealthy life.

Never once could I imagine my health would deteriorate to this extend.

Don't ever take health for granted, appreciate every little movement we are capable of making.

Painless life. Dignified life.

- Posted using BlogPress via my iPhone 3G S

Can You Tell The Difference?

Pre uncleBotak

Approximately 1 week before TB attack

I was at 75kg (eventually dropped to 73kg)

Post uncleBotak

This was taken about a month ago

(2 months after cleared of TB virus) at 81kg

My latest

Guess I did put on weight!

But if it's the sign of recovering from TB, that's fine.

Just wish I can be healthy and yet still be at 75kg. That's when I realised I have a flat stomach!

A rare sight! Have not seen that for 20 odd years!!!

Can't wait til my side effect of TB is gone to start a healthy lifestyle with time for tennis, running and yoga!

Happy Days

Looking back, when I was poorest, I was happiest!

Lately, I have been reflecting a lot. Trying to look back into the past in the hope to find things that I have done right (knowingly or otherwise) and try to figure out how to re-capture that feelings/moments to move forward.

When I realised I needed an education to have a better future and once I decided on the course to take, my only focus was getting the degree.

Not just a degree, but the best that I could possibly get.

There were times I had to make the tough call between buying better food to eat or keep the money for projects, I chose the latter.

I was so focus that nothing could come in my way, I was knocked down several times but every time, I came back stronger.

After graduation, I was offered to do MPhil, a degree that would lead to PhD. I turned it down as I so badly wanted to be in the corporate world.

That was my goal then: Study (hard) - Degree (highest grade) - Work (out of this world job)!

I climbed the ladder fast, my focus at that point was to be the best in my playing field.

But every step I progressed, my heart didn't feel right.

The unfortunate thing was I never listened to my heart. I allowed my head to reason with my heart.

The longer and higher I progressed in the corporate world, the more difficult it was for me to look back and do something my heart really wanted me to do.

I am a maverick, I like to do things my way and I love the un-prohibited freedom of doing things my way.

I don't like to follow rules, I prefer to set my own rules.

But the higher I progressed in the corporate ladder, the more desires I have. It's a scary feelings, this desire thing.

I thought material things could bring me happiness. Truth is, it did, up to a certain extend.

I have lost focus along the way!

One of the few reasons I left the corporate world was when I finally realised that I wanted my life back, I wanted a meaningful life, a balanced life and I wanted to experience the feelings of falling in love and be with someone I utterly care about.

No regret stepping out. But took me a few years to be able to make the sort of money I so used to spending!

I have evolved since. From providing my design-marketing-branding expertise to companies on project basis, to having my own business and ultimately, in partnership pitching for multi-million ringgit projects.

I thought I had it all and was looking at how to make more money just so I could spend even more, I was diagnosed with TB!

My world turned totally upside down!

The moment I couldn't work, I was unable to charge anyone for my non-service!

Meaning, the professional fees I charged that enabled me to enjoy finer things in life stopped abruptly!

It made me realised that there is only 24/7 no matter how hard I work.

Also, working hard is not the answer, working smart is. This is something really hard for me to swallow. By admitting I have to work smart, it means I am an idiot all this while!

Again, the other part of the equation that I still haven't truly found whether I was employed or self-employed, "the feelings from the heart" came back again!

Truth is, I thought I had it all after leaving the corporate world, I struggled at first, then I got better, I earned more, I spent even more, I thought I was happy.

But the fundamental question was still not fully answered: What would truly make me happy?

It had to be TB to slow me down, turn my world upside down and make me start from ground zero for me to re-look at my life and ask, what's next?

I now need to focus on what I truly want out of life, what would make me genuinely happy when I achieve what I set out to do.

Then I need to focus on achieving that goal!

That, is the true feelings of success. It comes from the heart.

In brief, success does not come from how much money I make. Rather, in how many people I manage to influence to make positive changes in their lives.

Don't get me wrong. Ultimately, I still want to make lotsa money!

But first time in my life, I want to experience true success that does not come from just counting paper notes!

My focus in life and my prayer to God:

Health in My Body . Peace in My Heart . Wealth in My Life . Joy in My Home

Life's Simple Pleasures

Getting a big snuggling hug the very first time

I met my wife's niece, Ashley.

Receiving text messages from my niece Lee Mun

and to see her turning into a responsible young girl.

Hearing "I miss you uncle Botak" from "baby",

the boy my mum is looking after over the phone.

Coming home to my labrador, Muji in Penang

Seeing how excited PuppyGirl, the abused dog my wife and I

adopted, when she saw me stepping out of the taxi

Coming home to Kuala Lumpur to see Girl, who has been with me

through thick and thin the last 13 over years

Sitting in a car I always love but never owned and

the great company I have with JenC, the owner of the car

Knowing I can count on cousin Joo Lee,

to ensure I am well looked after

Spending precious moments with my wife

in between her busy work schedule

Having quality time with my mum,

something I have failed to do for many years

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone 3G S

Location:Jalan Oriental 4, Air Itam, Malaysia

Leaving Hong Kong

Recently made a trip to Hong Kong to close the chapter there.

Since February 2009 I have been traveling in and out of Hong Kong due to work.

At first, I stayed in the newly opened hotel called Butterfly on Prat.

The name is a little er... off. To say the least.

You wouldn't want to be called a prat in UK!

However, the hotel is situated in a street named Prat, I guess it makes certain sense!

It's those boutique style hotel, cozy, modern and the kind of

modern simplicity design I personally like.

Prat Street is smacked in the middle of TST (Tsim Sha Tsui). A stone throw away from TST MTR station.

Great way for me to know the area!

Office is situated in the middle of Nathan Road, Mong Kok.

The night office renovation work completed

View of Nathan Road from office

The regional team (Malaysia, Australia, China)

Mr CEO

The first 4 retail team members

First burst of marketing communication campaign (the one in the middle)

A short walk would land me in the midst of street market, IT mall and gadget centre where I eventually bought 2 HTC Magic the day it was launched, I also bought 2 HTC Touch 3G, 2 HTC Touch Cruise, a HTC Touch and 2 iPhone 3G.

My first Andriod phone

My favourite drink

Cafe de Coral (they have just rebranded it CdC)

Chianie, a friend I hang out with, she's been very helpful

I moved to Harbourview Horizon, a serviced apartment in Hung Hom overlooking Hong Kong Harbour when I have to spend more and more time in Hong Kong.

Minimalist and contemporary

Muted tones

Dark wood in bedroom

My collection of HTCs

View from living room (I need binoculars during summer :@)

Another view from living room (Hong Kong Harbour)

View of Hong Kong Harbour at night

Tsim Sha Tsui at night

Channel Crossing (traffic on the way back from Hong Kong island)

2 very different environment, one in the heart of Kowloon full of life. The other, a very quiet residential area.

It took me awhile to adjust to the new environment. But I have come to enjoy both for different reasons.

Watching the nightly light show and HK National Day celebration from the living room have been a great experience.

For 9 months, I focused a lot on work and my home in Kuala Lumpur has become secondary to me.

I became so objective driven that even when my home in KL was broken into, I continued to stay in Hong Kong knowing that I couldn't turn back the clock.

I left it to my wife Pam to sort things out. Looking back, I'm an ass!

Came October, I was exhausted, I needed to rest, to look after my health and to re-examine my life and purpose of life.

Ever since I left my high flying corporate life, I have wanted to lead a more balanced life. I still haven't found what I am looking for.

With my new found purpose, I am taking my first step into the unknown.

Interesting and intriguing. At the same time, I am a little uncertain and nervous.

I thank God for inspiring me to look at things differently.

I am now counting on the continual support and guidance from God to lead me through this new path which I know will be a great and meaningful path in life's lesson.

Living with TB 6: The Final Chapter

Wednesday March 24, 2010. A day to celebrate.

My X-Ray and blood test shown I am totally clear of TB!

From taking 5 different types of medicine with a total of 12 pills daily, I now will be taking 3 types twice a week. The antibiotic that caused my gout attack is no longer needed.

Even though I will be taking 3 types of medicine, the total now is 13 pills!

This is absolutely fine as I am clean!!!

Gout will be a thing of the past soon. I look forward to being able to run and play tennis in the very near future!

I might even take up a new routine, yoga!

I have put on weight, I am back to my normal weight. Which is actually a bit on the heavy side. Have to work on this part so I can be healthy whilst loosing weight!

I lost about 8kg in less than 2 weeks, from approximately 80kg to 72kg. I remember looking at myself and said to myself, "Cool, my stomach is totally flat! Just like when I was at my fittest many, many years ago!".

Unfortunately, I also lost the little bit of muscle mass I have!

My waist went down from 33" to 30". Now it's back to 33".

I would be more than happy if I could get it down to 32"!

Now that I am at 79kg, I better start building back the muscle mass I lost just so I don't resemble a frog:

Big head, no neck, round stomach and skinny legs!

The future is fill with opportunities, hopes and dreams!

I thank God for allowing me to see things differently and how precious life is.

Life is great!